Be Careful What You Tell Yourself

We've all heard the saying, "You are what you think." It's an age-old adage, but its wisdom is as relevant today as ever. The stories we tell ourselves profoundly impact our lives, shaping our actions, beliefs, and, ultimately, our destinies. As a success coach and someone who has had the privilege of connecting with people from all walks of life, I've seen firsthand how powerful our internal narratives can be. But I've also seen how dangerous they can become when we use them as crutches, limiting our potential and holding us back from achieving greatness.

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Remember the last time you said, "I'm just not good at [fill in the blank]." Maybe it was technology, money management, or even relationships. These statements might feel like harmless admissions of your limitations, but they are far more insidious. When we repeatedly tell ourselves that we're "not good" at something, we start to believe it. And belief is a powerful thing.

I've encountered many people who say they're not good with technology. "I'm not a tech person," they say, as if it were a permanent part of their identity. Others declare they're not good with money, resigning to a lifetime of financial struggle. Then some say they're not good in relationships, often after experiencing heartbreak or disappointment. In each case, these individuals use their beliefs as a crutch, an excuse to avoid stepping out of their comfort zones and trying something new.

But here's the truth: none of these statements are inherently true. We all can learn, grow, and improve in any area of our lives. The key is to recognize that these beliefs are just that—beliefs, not facts. And beliefs can be changed.

Learning Is Within Reach

I wasn't always good with computers. In fact, when I first encountered them in the early 1980s, I was utterly baffled. The idea of using a machine to perform tasks that I'd always done by hand was intimidating, to say the least. But I didn't let that stop me. I knew I had to learn if I wanted to keep up with the rapidly changing world around me. And so I did.

I didn't become proficient with computers overnight. It took time, patience, and a lot of trial and error. However, I approached the challenge with a positive attitude. I told myself, "I don't know how this works now, but I will learn." And that made all the difference.

This experience taught me a valuable lesson: when you say you're not good at something, it simply means you haven't had the opportunity to learn and expand your knowledge. Learning is not beyond us. It is within reach, no matter how daunting the task initially seems.

The Power of a Positive Mental Attitude

The key to overcoming self-imposed limitations is a positive mental attitude. It's about shifting your mindset from "I can't" to "I can" and "I will." When you approach challenges with curiosity and determination, you open yourself up to new possibilities.

If you're not good with computers, take your time, write down the steps, and practice them repeatedly until you get it right. If you're not good with money, ask yourself if that means you're good at being broke. Do you want a PhD in being broke? Of course not! You've already mastered the art of being broke—now it's time to try something else. Embrace a positive mental attitude and develop a thirst for knowledge. Learn about budgeting, saving, and investing. Seek out resources and mentors who can guide you on your financial journey.

And what about relationships? If you're not good at love, does that mean you're selfish or unfaithful? Perhaps you've had negative experiences in the past, but that doesn't mean you're doomed to repeat them. Study what successful relationships look like in practice. Observe couples who have strong, healthy relationships and learn from them. Keep an open mind and heart, and leave your expectations behind. You are capable of love, and with the right mindset, you can cultivate meaningful, lasting connections.

The Danger of Self-Limiting Beliefs

One of the biggest dangers of self-limiting beliefs is that they can become self-fulfilling prophecies. When you tell yourself that you're not good at something, you're more likely to avoid situations where you might be challenged to improve. Over time, this avoidance reinforces your belief, making breaking free from the cycle even harder.

For example, if you believe you're not good with money, you might avoid learning about personal finance or shy away from financial responsibilities. As a result, you continue to struggle with money, and your belief that you're "not good" at it becomes even more entrenched. The same goes for technology, relationships, or any other area where you feel inadequate.

But here's the thing: you don't have to let these beliefs define you. You have the power to change the narrative. It starts with recognizing that your current limitations are not permanent. They simply reflect your past experiences and the stories you've been telling yourself.

Embrace a Growth Mindset

One of the most powerful tools for overcoming self-limiting beliefs is to embrace a growth mindset. A growth mindset is the belief that your abilities and intelligence can be developed through hard work, dedication, and learning. It's the opposite of a fixed mindset, which holds that your abilities are static and unchangeable.

When you adopt a growth mindset, you see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than threats to your self-worth. You understand that failure is not a reflection of your abilities but a stepping stone to success. You become more resilient, open to feedback, and willing to take risks.

If you're not good at something, that's okay. It just means you haven't learned how to do it yet. But with the right attitude and a commitment to learning, you can develop the skills and knowledge you need to succeed.

The Power of Self-Affirmation

Another powerful tool for overcoming self-limiting beliefs is self-affirmation. Self-affirmation involves reminding yourself of your strengths, values, and potential. It's about reinforcing the positive aspects of your identity and building your confidence from within.

When you think, "I'm not good at this," counter it with a positive affirmation. Say to yourself, "I am capable of learning. I can improve. I am determined to succeed." Over time, these affirmations will help rewire your brain, replacing negative self-talk with empowering beliefs.

Remember, your past experiences or your current limitations do not define you. You are a dynamic, evolving individual with the capacity for growth and change. The stories you tell yourself have the power to shape your reality, so choose them wisely.

The Importance of Action

Finally, it's important to remember that mindset alone is not enough. It would help if you also took action. Learning and growth require effort, practice, and persistence. It's not enough to simply believe you can improve—you must also work.

If you're not good with technology, take a class, watch tutorials, or ask for help from someone more experienced. If you're not good with money, start by setting small financial goals and working up to more complex tasks. If you're not good at relationships, seek opportunities to connect with others, practice active listening, and develop empathy and communication skills.

Action is the bridge between belief and reality. You can turn your self-affirmations into tangible results by taking consistent, deliberate steps toward your goals.

Be Good at Learning

It's not about being good at everything—it's about being good at learning. When you approach life with a positive mental attitude and a willingness to learn, there are no limits to what you can achieve. The next time you catch yourself saying, "I'm not good at this," remember that it's not a permanent state of being. It simply reflects where you are right now, and with the right mindset, you can change it.

So, be good at learning. Be good at embracing challenges, stepping out of your comfort zone, and pushing yourself to grow. The stories you tell yourself are powerful, so make sure they're stories that empower you, inspire you, and propel you toward the life you want to live. You can learn and grow—now go out there and make it happen!