Stop Chasing People Who Do Not Want You
You are wasting an incredible amount of time chasing people who do not want you. That is not an insult. That is a fact. One of my core themes moving through 2025 and into 2026 is learning when to say, “This is not for me.” Not everything is meant to stay in your life forever. Some seasons end. Some doors close. Some relationships expire. And when they do, your job is not to reopen them. Your job is to move forward.
I see too many people chasing unrequited love or trying to resurrect relationships that have gone sour. They cling to what once was instead of accepting what is. When someone no longer wants you, continuing to pursue them is not romantic. It is ego driven. It is foolish. And it costs you opportunities to meet someone who actually wants to be with you.
Let me be very clear. A relationship does not define you. You define you. Yes, emotions get involved. Yes, attachment is real. I understand the difficulty of letting go when feelings are present. But when a relationship is over, going back is rarely about love. It is usually about pride. It is about trying to prove something. It is about refusing to accept loss. And sometimes, you just have to take the loss and move on.
I have seen men stay in relationships that no longer serve them because they are afraid to be alone. They do not want to start over. They do not want to face the discomfort of rebuilding. They would rather stay miserable than sit with themselves. What they fail to realize is that solitude is often the gateway to growth. Being alone for a season can sharpen you, heal you, and prepare you for something better.
I once told a man during a counseling session that his goals were not the problem. His distractions were. His relationship ended because he cheated and got caught. He wanted to know how to fix it. I told him the truth. Even if she forgives you, she will never forget. You will always be a suspect. That is no way to live. Always monitored. Always doubted. Always explaining. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is take the lesson, own the mistake, and walk away with dignity.
I have also seen people stay in toxic relationships because they do not want to “lose” to someone else. On a show called Paternity Court, a woman stayed with her husband even after he cheated over 35 times and had a child with another woman. When asked why she stayed, she said she did not want the other woman to win. My question is simple. What exactly is the prize? A man who repeatedly betrays trust and destroys his family is not a reward. Even if the other woman “won,” she would never trust him either. That is not victory. That is shared dysfunction.
When someone has clearly told you they do not want to be with you, chasing them is not persistence. It is self destruction. I have seen people go to extreme lengths to escape unwanted attention, including legal action. One young man became so obsessed with a woman he briefly dated that she obtained a restraining order. He violated it. He was arrested. That record now follows him. Housing is harder to find. Employment options are limited. All because he refused to let go of someone who was done with him.
That is the real cost of obsession.
I have heard people say things like, “I do not want anyone else to have her,” or “I do not know what I would do if she moved on.” Those are not romantic statements. They are warning signs. They signal insecurity, control issues, and emotional instability. That path does not lead to love. It leads to consequences.
This may sound simple, even cliche, but it is true. If they do not want you, move on. I say this as a man who has walked away from relationships that no longer brought peace. Many people do not understand the value of a peaceful relationship. They think constant conflict is normal. It is not. Disagreements happen, yes. But toxicity, rage, and emotional chaos should never be the baseline.
When you walk away from a bad relationship, you are not losing. You are stepping into light. You are freeing yourself from emotional bondage. Holding onto someone who does not want you is not loyalty. It is delusion. And letting go is one of the most powerful acts of self respect you will ever make.