The Debate Over First Dates: It's Not About The Restaurant

If you've been online recently, you've likely come across the now-viral video that ignited a massive debate on the validity of having a first date at The Cheesecake Factory. Here's my take.

The Cheesecake Factory, Chilli's, or Ruth Chris, where you choose to dine, might speak of your tastes but not necessarily your heart or intentions. I've been married for seven glorious years, and our love story began over drinks and appetizers at Chili's. Did the hum of conversations and clinking glasses around us determine our future? Certainly not. The laughter, the stories, and the genuine connection led me to propose six months later.

Dating, it seems, has evolved (or devolved, depending on whom you ask). The issue isn't where you eat but the weight of expectations and judgments we attach to these choices. In the video, the young woman's dissatisfaction with the option of The Cheesecake Factory, based on her self-assessed good looks and aversion to chain restaurants, was palpable. But here's a reality check: Many upscale restaurants are chains. Whether it's The Capital Grille or Ruth Chris, it's less about the exclusivity and more about the ambiance and menu they offer.

Now, if we want to dive into this issue, let's talk about punctuality. The young man in the video had initially planned something she might have approved, but her tardiness cost them their reservation. Time, as they say, respects no one, nor should we make light of someone else's. Dressing up and makeup can't be an excuse for disrespecting another's time.

The real controversy, however, surrounds the attire. Some netizens (I like that word) did their homework and priced her outfit, arguing that its affordability diminishes her desire for a more upscale date. This is where I have to disagree. Everyone should feel free to express themselves through fashion, regardless of the price tag. The real issue was her attitude, not her attire.

Relationships, to me, are all about finding peace and harmony. Navigating the complex terrain of modern expectations and traditional values is challenging. Modernity (I like this word, too) has brought about freedom and empowerment but shouldn't replace authenticity, respect, and mutual understanding. The video's example might seem trivial, but it exposes a more extensive cultural rift. Some seek traditional comforts but uphold modern stances, creating dissonance.

Additionally, the perception of extravagant dating with wealth needs to be addressed. As highlighted in the books by Thomas J. Stanley, real wealth is not flaunted. Those with substantial financial grounding often shy away from depreciating splurges. They look for stability, authenticity, and, most importantly, peace in a partner. The young man's choice of a sensible car in the video might have been a clearer indication of his prudence than any upscale restaurant ever could.

To all the singles out there: dining at an extravagant place might tantalize your taste buds, but it won't guarantee a genuine connection or lasting relationship. The young lady in the video learned this the hard way.

While the ambiance of a first date can set the mood, authenticity, respect, and connection genuinely matter. In the quest for a life partner, look beyond the superficial and seek the substance. Your heart (and stomach) will thank you.