Why People Stay Where They’re Not Wanted.

While working across Baton Rouge and New Orleans, I’ve had the privilege of meeting some incredibly insightful people. Through casual conversations and deep discussions, especially with professionals in a radio network that supplies content throughout Louisiana, one consistent and powerful theme keeps coming up:

Too many people are staying in relationships, both business and personal, where they are not valued.

It’s eye-opening, heartbreaking, and incredibly common. And the more I listen, the more I understand: this isn’t just about relationships. It’s about how people hold themselves back from reaching their full potential.

I’ve been reflecting on this during my long commutes, where I spend most of my time immersed in audiobooks and podcasts. Two books that have stuck with me lately are The Power by Rhonda Byrne and The Wealth Money Can’t Buy by Robin Sharma. Both books echo the importance of self-worth, alignment, and protecting your peace. And recently, a podcast episode from Emma Grede’s “Aspire” hit home. It made me take a deep dive into a question that too many people avoid:

Why do people stay in bad relationships, even when the other person doesn’t want them?

The Fear Factor

For many, the fear of being alone outweighs the pain of staying. It’s not just a fear of physical loneliness, it’s the fear of silence, of having no one to validate your existence. But here’s the truth: staying where you’re tolerated will cost you your peace, your purpose, and eventually, your power.

Self-Worth Wounds

When someone doesn’t believe they deserve better, they accept less. They tell themselves, “This is the best I can get,” and cling to crumbs. But when you start to recognize your value, you stop begging for validation and begin to require respect.

Hoping for Change

Hope can be beautiful. But it can also be a trap. People often hold on to the idea that things will go back to how they used to be. The partner who once showed affection will return. The boss who once praised you will notice your hard work again. But if change isn’t happening now, hope without action becomes denial.

Emotional Investment

It’s hard to walk away from something you’ve poured years of your life into. Whether it’s a long-term partner or a business relationship, the emotional and time investment can feel too big to abandon. But ask yourself: is this investment bringing you returns, or just more loss?

Outside Pressure

So many stay because they’re worried about what people will say. They fear being judged or labeled as a failure. But your peace is more important than other people’s opinions. And actual growth only comes when you start making decisions based on your future, not your fears.

Trauma Bonds and Manipulation

Sometimes, staying isn't even a conscious choice. In emotionally toxic relationships, a cycle of rejection and attention creates a trauma bond. You chase the highs, hoping to feel wanted again, not realizing that the whole situation is rooted in emotional manipulation.

Finances and Practicality

Let’s be real, money matters. People stay in relationships due to financial dependence, shared assets, or a fear of starting over. That’s valid. But no amount of comfort is worth your soul being chipped away every day.

So, What’s the Solution?

First, awareness.
You have to see the truth. Not the version you want to believe, but the reality that’s been showing itself again and again.

Second, value yourself.
The more you raise your standards, the more obvious it becomes when someone isn’t meeting them.

Third, surround yourself with people who elevate you.
One of the blessings of my work in Baton Rouge and New Orleans is being around people who challenge me to grow, ask tough questions, and remind me that success begins with the company you keep.

I’ll leave you with this truth:
You don’t have to stay where you’re not celebrated. You don’t have to dim your light to keep a relationship alive.

It might be scary to walk away, but it’s even more frightening to wake up 10 years from now and realize you were never truly seen, heard, or appreciated.

Decide to choose yourself.

Because real love, whether it’s romantic, platonic, or professional, doesn’t make you beg for it.